While the philosophy behind prayer and halakhah is similar, attitudes by both the rabbis and the congregation toward halakhah, when it involves the religious practice of individuals outside the synagogue, are more complex. What distinguishes the approach to halakhah at BJ is that, despite a serious commitment to struggling with Jewish traditional practice, there is an explicit tolerance of individual differences and choices. As BJ's rules regarding communal events in the synagogue show, the rabbis have clear halakhic standards.
Marcelo noted, "Some people believe we think everything is O.K. Everything isn't O.K." But, he went on to explain, there are two approaches to halakhah: "... one is oppressive, to control and dominate. The other way is to open an experience that challenges the soul and brings people closer to God and to each other. That's what we're trying to do." The rabbis require a certain level of observance for communal functions, and they encourage each congregant to find a higher and more meaningful level of individual observance. They are, however, explicitly non-judgmental regarding individual observance outside the synagogue. Roly explained:
We don't want to send the message that everybody has to observe Shabbat in exactly the same way - checking each other out and judging one another. We wish for them to freely explore and create a consensus. For example, when we do communal things we have a certain level of kashrut... at home, people will decide for themselves. We want people to choose kashrut for themselves, but we won't make them feel like an outsider for choosing something different.
While the rabbis are respectful of the choices congregants make, what they demand of themselves and the congregation is a personalized and communal struggle with Jewish observance as a way to connect with the divine and with the experience of the Jewish people across history and geography. They challenge the congregation by sharing their own struggles, by providing knowledge and guidance, and, most importantly, by creating an environment in which such engagement is expected.
This tolerance for a range of halakhic practices is part of what makes BJ so comfortable for so many. While the rabbis encourage a greater adherence to what they term "traditional practices," their refusal to judge others actually helps individual members increase their level of observance in a way that makes traditional practices become meaningful in everyday life.
Regardless of previous background, congregants have taken up the idea that at BJ, despite different practices, almost everyone struggles with the meaning observance can have in their daily lives. Jewish observance among the many congregants interviewed was understood as a set of personal decisions made within the context of a shared experience. As one congregant remarked:
When you commit to becoming a member of BJ, you are saying you are in the same place as most of these other people... BJ says you can put a toe in the water, maybe an ankle. If you want to go under, you can. But nobody is saying, 'Hey you with the toe in the water, put your whole foot in.'
Accepting that congregants have the liberty to choose what works in their lives and what enhances the underlying meaning of the tradition for them makes each step congregants take toward greater observance feel like a positive step of enrichment. The idea that observance must be, in the words of one member, "all or nothing in order to count or to be authentic" is explicitly rejected. Thus, one mother and father who were moving toward greater observance at home – for example, keeping kosher and choosing to have their children say a short prayer with them each morning – did not feel these practices were contradicted by the family not keeping kosher on a trip abroad.
The larger goal of observance, as articulated by the rabbis and taken to heart by the congregation, is to go beyond the details of religious behaviorism and experience God in daily life. As one member commented: The rabbis are modeling a way of being open to emotion and the environment; of looking into the world and seeing religious meaning in everyday life. I've felt at certain points that everything in my life has some deeper meaning. I feel like they model that. They talk about mundane things and give them spiritual importance – like looking into someone's face on the subway and thinking of that person as God's creation.
